Things We Need To Stop Saying, #336

Confirmation bias…is the tendency to…interpret…information in a way that confirms one’s beliefs. ~Wikipedia

Here’s Sam Elliot, in character, with some words glued to his forehead:

You know, laws against homicide do not prevent homicide. Laws against DUI do not prevent DUI. Laws against domestic abuse do not prevent domestic abuse. I could go on, but you see the pattern. Why do we have laws at all? I mean, if a law doesn’t prevent something, the law shouldn’t be there, am right?

No, I don’t think criminals will obey gun control laws. Criminals are well-known for not obeying laws, and I am not stupid. I do, however, think that narrowing and tightening the legal pathway to obtain guns will help us identify and apprehend criminals earlier, before they use their guns to commit a crime.

There are two problems with this Sam Elliot meme: First, it calls the “other side” stupid. It’s easy to see where this scratches an itch for the pro-gun crowd, confirming what they already know. Unfortunately, it does nothing to actually convince anyone else. In fact, it does the opposite, widening the ideological gap between “us” and “them” and making “us” feel justified in writing “them” off completely. They’re stupid, right? Right! I’m preaching to the choir here, we all know this to be true! So why even talk to them or listen to them?

Second, it reinforces the idea that we shouldn’t do anything if it can’t be done perfectly. No, criminals do not obey laws, but that’s not the point. Going a step further, even if we do tighten up the legal process for obtaining guns, we won’t catch everyone that circumvents the process. Does this mean we should do nothing? Let’s once again consider laws against DUI: they do not prevent drunk driving, nor do we catch all drunk drivers. Should we therefore discard our DUI laws? Alternately, would this have been a valid argument for never passing DUI laws in the first place? Of course not!

December 2, 2015 was the 336th day of the year. There were two mass shootings on that day alone, bringing the national total for the U.S. up to 353. That’s more than one mass shooting per day. Contrary to President Obama’s assertion that “this is not normal” after the 351st mass shooting (on the 331st day), it is normal. It happens about as often as I make a pot of coffee or take a shit. It shouldn’t be normal, but it is. Nevertheless, I choose to believe we can do something about it. It is high time we stopped fighting amongst ourselves and started working together to actually fix the problem. Spending our time and energy insulting each other means we’re distracted from the real problem, which is getting worse all the time.

Things We Need To Stop Saying, #214

A red herring is something that misleads or distracts from a relevant or important issue. ~Wikipedia

Here’s today’s red herring meme:

First, the wording at the top implies very strongly that every act of terror is carried out by Muslims. By extension, it implies that violence done by anyone who’s not Muslim doesn’t count as an act of terror. Did anyone say “we shouldn’t judge all Muslims on the actions of a few” after the 2015 Planned Parenthood shooting? Absolutely not. That would have been ridiculous, since the shooter was a white dude whose political goals had fuck-all to do with the middle east. Yet it absolutely was an act of terror, and anyone who says differently is giving the perp a pass because of his nationality and/or skin color.  There are over 1.5 billion Muslims on the planet. Yes, a handful of them are extremists who are bent on violence. Judging all of them based on the violent ones would be as dumb as judging all 2.4 billion Christians based on the actions of a handful of clinic terrorists. Perhaps unintentionally, perhaps deliberately, our Mr. Meme subtly paints the entire religion of Islam with the same broad brush it’s whining about.

Second, nobody’s judging all gun owners based on terrorists or mass shooters. This is a red herring that muddies up the discussion and leaves rational people with the distinct impression that the gun activists are frantically trying to hide something. Nobody – nobody – has said with any credibility that “we need to disarm all gun owners so they don’t shoot up the place!” People love to feel like they’re being persecuted, for reasons I don’t fully understand. People with tattoos post Facebook memes about being judged for their tattoos, but in reality very few people give a shit about tattoos. Metalheads post Facebook memes about being judged for their taste in music, but in reality very few people give a shit about who listens to which kind of music. Gun owners post Facebook memes whining about being judged for owning guns, but nobody’s really doing that. I’m a gun owner.  Nearly everyone I know is a gun owner. Exactly none of us have been suspected or accused of being dangerous psychopaths because somewhere, someone shot some people. The actual issue is that we can’t sit down like adults to discuss how to keep guns out of the hands of people who are crazier than shithouse rats. In a practical sense, scientists and medical professionals aren’t even allowed to study the problem.

So please, if you’re interested in actively doing something to help address the problem, stop saying “Don’t judge all gun owners on the actions of a few!” because nobody’s doing that. Claiming that that’s the problem makes it difficult for us to address the real issue. Instead, let’s hear your ideas for keeping guns out of the hands of irrational, dangerous people, and let’s discuss them. This problem needs more ideas, more discussion, and fewer sound bites/bumper stickers/facebook memes.

Never Forget

It’s just a matter of hours now until the 12th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. Sure enough, the sentiment “Never Forget!” is cropping up all over again. Just like last year and the year before that, it confuses the shit out of me. The 9/11 attacks were a major event in American history. Of course we’re not going to forget. Of course. Why do we rush to reassure everyone of this same thing every year?

There are lots of events that we’ve collectively “never forgotten” that don’t get nearly the same press: the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor that dragged us into WWII, Woodstock, Watergate, the shootings at Kent State, the Great Depression, Kennedy’s assassination, Challenger exploding, the OJ Simpson verdict and ensuing riots, the anniversary of Kurt Cobain offing himself, Mt. Saint Helens’ big eruption, Timothy McVeigh blowing up the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building…just to name a few off the top of my head. Really, any event where people reminisce by saying “Where were you when you heard the news?” Never forget! Well…no. Naturally, not.

Every year around this time I’m tempted to post snarky comments on Facebook making fun of the never forgetters, something along the lines of a status that says simply “Never forgive!” There’s also this nifty knock-knock joke that I ran across a few years back that I thought was funny:

“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“9/11.”
“9/11 who?”
“YOU SAID YOU’D NEVER FORGET! *sob*”

I don’t, though. I don’t do this because I’m afraid of genuinely offending people that I genuinely like. I worry that this could cause deep enough offense to end a friendship in real life, and that would suck. I don’t want that.

Hey look, I was just as rattled by the 9/11 attacks as everyone else was. I didn’t know anyone that was directly affected, but I distinctly remember the feeling of deep fear casting its shadow into my soul. Especially in the first 24 hours, nobody knew the full scale of the attack. There were rumors of more kamikaze airliners inbound over the Pacific and Atlantic oceans. What was going to follow the airliners? A hostile foreign power’s blue-water navy? Military aircraft dropping ordnance? Nuclear-tipped ICBMS? Were we in for a full-scale invasion?

With the benefit of hindsight, we know now it was “just” four airliners, and thank God the one that was (presumably) headed for the White House is the one that slammed into a Pennsylvania field. I remember feeling vaguely ill for the next 12 weeks or so, still trying to process what had happened, still grieving. I’m pretty sure we all went through similar feelings, so I don’t want to make light of what happened that day, but I feel like it’s not healthy to keep dwelling on it. I fully understand the anger and the sorrow, but one way or another we have to let that shit go or it’ll eat us alive.

9/11…the little scratch on the roof of your mouth that would heal if only you could stop tonguing it, but you can’t. I’ve coined another saying, based largely on my own journey that I like to pull out when I see someone nursing negative emotions out of a wounded sense of self-righteousness:

The important thing is to stay angry. Forever.

It’s sarcastic, obviously. No, staying angry forever is not the most important thing. In fact, I’d argue that usually, the opposite is true – getting over our anger is the most important thing we can do. When I hear people recite the “Never Forget!” mantra, I assume that what they’re really saying is “Never forgive! Never let go of the bitterness! Keep the wound open and give in to your hate!”

Maybe I’m mistaken. Maybe it’s just the way we’ve collectively chosen to remember this grim anniversary, but it confuses me a great deal. That day hurt me just like it hurt everyone, but I’m a relentless smart-ass. It’s in my DNA, I can’t help myself. If you see me joking around about it on Facebook…please don’t unfriend me in real life. Thanks.

mjw